Sunday, October 27, 2013

In the beginning...


We met by chance on the first day of school. I had just transferred from a small liberal arts college an hour away to this large university, ready to start a new life. On a whim I signed up for a class that had nothing to do with my major. I thought it might be fun and possibly useful someday. I got lost on my way while trying to navigate the winding hallways connecting all the buildings on campus, and arrived late. Exactly what I was hoping to avoid on my first day of school.

Although, maybe it wasn't so bad? Because as I walked up to the door, a cute guy was standing outside of it. He gave me a nervous smile. I checked his hand for a wedding ring -- nothing. Hmm...so he's not married...does that mean he's some sort of weirdo? What are the chances of me meeting a normal, cute guy on my first day?

I came to find out later that he is almost never late. He also had signed up for the class on a whim, and a computer issue in the registrars office made him late. Fate, possibly?

We chatted for a bit, decided we should go in even though the class already started. Turned out it was almost completely full. The only two seats left were at a table on the front row, right next to each other. We tried to slide in inconspicuously. We spent the next hour and a half quietly chatting and making jokes. At the end, he told me he would be going out of town soon. Maybe he could get my number so he could call me about the homework assignments? Smooth.

As soon as I walked out of class I texted my best friend:
I think I'm going to like it here. There are cute guys!

From that point on, he was always in the back of my mind. 

Thursday, October 17, 2013

First things first

I am starting this blog because I am the wife of a sexaholic.

Throughout the years I have experienced much pain and heartache as the result of my husband's sexaholism. For years I've lived with the pain, stuffed it down inside, tried to ignore it, and pretended it didn't exist. Only to have it come back again, and again, and again.

This time is different. This time I am going to heal and stop being crazy. This time I am going to find me again.

As I've started on this journey of healing there have been many experiences and thoughts that I felt I should write down. So, for my own purposes of learning and growing and bettering myself, I am going to use this blog as a journal to document my progress.

During this process I'll refer to myself as Charity, although that is not my real name. I am seeking for the pure love of Christ, both in my own life and in my relationships with others, hence the name. Maybe someday I'll be brave enough to put my real name out there.

I hope as time goes on I can look back at these entries and see the ups and downs, learn from them, and ultimately, find victory in finding myself.